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Sister Act

Sister act

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You finally convinced your mother that she needs a little help at home, but then your sister visited from out-of-state and convinced Mom that she was fine. Now that sis is gone, you're stuck doing all the extra work.

Sometimes siblings like to one-up each other in an effort to stay in control or have the last word, or they simply have a different take on the situation. Chances are this tendency dates back to childhood. Why not make a list of all of your mother's needs and all that you are doing to meet those needs?

Schedule a time to meet with your sister or confer with her by telephone. Tell her that you are struggling to keep up with Mom's care and then show her the list of all that you're doing. Try not to be defensive. When she sees all of your mother's needs in black and white, reality may sink in. Remember, even though your sister lives farther away, she may be in a position at some point in time to take turns assisting in the care of your mother.

Then, ask your sister what she would recommend. Try to keep an open mind while your sister shares her thoughts about the best ways to assist your mother.

Please download the guide: 50/50 Rule® Brochure (PDF 950K).

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Last revised: December 29, 2010

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Thoughts and stories from others
  1. January 25, 2020 at 1:50 am | Posted by Jude

    It is so hard being a care giver. My mum who is now ninety and lives on her own in er own bungalow, was diagnosefd last year with termina Bowel Cancer and wants to remain in her own home to end her life. I am the eldest of four children in my late 60s and have Rheuatoid Arthritis l love my mum and respect her wishes to stay at home but i do the majrity of the care giving and there is no chance ever for us siblngs to get togeter with a fair rota for mums care as they become hostile whenever i mention anything. I come and stay 4 dys and nights with my mum and my husband suoprts me with this but gets worried as i feel drained and upset with this situation, being in ain with R.A. Mum does not understand the toll this has on me and gets very demanding....help!! It sounds an awful situation with your sister why was your sister left your parents house? Hardly sounds fair. It's all so scary how money becomes such a dominant issue when parents die. One thing for sure, i don't have property to leave my kids so there shall be no squabbling.

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  2. January 25, 2020 at 12:33 am | Posted by Jude

    It is so hard being a care giver. My mum who is now ninety and lives on her own in er own bungalow, was diagnosefd last year with termina Bowel Cancer and wants to remain in her own home to end her life. I am the eldest of four children in my late 60s and have Rheuatoid Arthritis l love my mum and respect her wishes to stay at home but i do the majrity of the care giving and there is no chance ever for us siblngs to get togeter with a fair rota for mums care as they become hostile whenever i mention anything. I come and stay 4 dys and nights with my mum and my husband suoprts me with this but gets worried as i feel drained and upset with this situation, being in ain with R.A. Mum does not understand the toll this has on me and gets very demanding....help!!

    Reply

  3. January 14, 2016 at 10:39 am | Posted by Ali

    I am out of the picture in the caring of my parents me and my sister live far away from them and my sister two years ago made my parents sign the ownership of the house and all the assets to her, she never mention anything to me or our brother, now that my parents need more help they do not have money because she spend it in remodeling the house and she make us believe that she was doing all this with her own money just as an act of love to our parents. She only did it just to get more money when she sells the house after my parents are gone.

    Reply

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