Question: Some of the insults that are said to me as a son-in-law today, with dementia in the picture, are insults from the past. I find it hard not to react in a knee jerk reaction, especially when the insults take me by surprise.
Dr. Amy: One of the biggest differences between family and professional caregivers is that family caregivers have a history with the person they are caring for that may contain a number of ups and downs . Being a family caregiver can be a richly rewarding experience. It can also be painful and challenging—all in the same day! With dementia in the picture, behavior that caused pain in the past may be more freely expressed when filters and self-control break down.
I am sorry that you are being wounded all over again. Once the hurtful words are spoken it is hard not to feel the impact. But perhaps the pain can be lessened. I encourage you to consider the following strategies—depending on the specific situation.
I send you strength!
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