Attending a Past Love's Funeral

-Mary Maxwell, Posted April 30,2012

Harriet in Boulder says, "Dear Mary, I regularly read the obituaries to see if I know anyone listed. This morning, my high school sweetheart's name appeared on the page. I'd like to attend the service to offer my condolences, but I'm worried my husband will think it's strange or be offended. What should I do?"

Of course you read the obituary page, Harriet. My age group calls it the sports page. I can't for the life of me think why attending the funeral service would offend your husband. You might even ask him to go with you so you can show him off to your old friends from high school. The deceased poses no problem. He's not out to try and renew the relationship, which if I may say so would be a very one-sided one. It could even be the case that your husband would think it's a nifty thing to do. He may be hoping that his high school sweetheart comes to his services when the time comes. Which brings up another question: how would you feel about that? Maybe you're worrying about the wrong person's feelings. Some widows I know would have been very uncomfortable if their husband's services had been swarming with old girlfriends. It's something to consider.

Watch the video, www.caregiverstress.com/2012/04/attending-a-past-loves-funeral/

Visit CaregiverStress.com to discover more wit and wisdom from Mary Maxwell, as well as expert advice from Dr. Amy D'Aprix and other videos, articles, and resources for family caregivers.

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