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Is there a web site where I can chat with other caregivers?


Question:  Is there a web site that I can chat back and forth with people who are caregivers? I would find it helpful to discuss my problems with others and they can discuss problems with me.

Dr. Amy:  The beauty of chat rooms is that you can connect with people without leaving your home. Many chat rooms are organized around particular conditions or diseases. For example, the Alzheimer’s Association offers chat rooms for people with Alzheimer’s Disease, and the American Cancer Society provides chat rooms for people with cancer. Many are open to both people with the disease as well as caregivers. I encourage you to visit the websites of the organizations that support the disease or condition of the person you are caring for.

Type, “Chat room” in the search field when you are the main page, and you will be directed to the chat rooms if they have them. You will be asked to register before you join. In addition to chat rooms, many organizations operate message boards—sometimes called forums, which can also be a great source of support. The National Family Caregivers Association ( and ( are examples. A number of organizations are planning to create or expand the online support they provide in the coming months. As with everything, you always want to make sure that you are dealing with reputable organizations. You also want to avoid giving out information that identifies you personally. I am interested in readers’ experiences with caregiving chat rooms and forums. I’d like to invite readers to share their experiences using the comment section.

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Thoughts and stories from others
  1. November 24, 2019 at 6:09 pm | Posted by R hall

    The reason I don’t sign up for the chat is the business of wanting my personal info. I have enough I need some private ness no matter how small.


  2. October 2, 2019 at 8:43 pm | Posted by abie

    Hi I take careof my 89 yo dementia mother by myself and just need a friend to talk to nobody visits us anymore because im to busy taking care of my mom and we are both going crazy feeling cooped up


  3. September 12, 2019 at 2:54 am | Posted by C.J.

    I have been a registered home care assistant in California for three years. I have worked for only one agency. I have been assigned to care for a very wide variety of individuals and easily understand what all of the families are going through. The agency makes $ 28.00- $34.00 for my caregiving and pays me $ 13.00 per hour with no benefits. I recently discovered a concise list of prohibited and unlawful services a homecare agency cannot provide or expect a caregiver to provide. CA Homecare Services Bureau a department has published the list. Wow was I shocked that routinely and with constancy I was breaking the law ! No orientation by the agency ever addressed this clear outline. No colostomy bag care, suppositories, no glucose testing, no insulin injection, no nebulizer breathing treatments, no bed sore wound care, and I still don't know about the opioids for hospice patients where we are expected to dispense pre filled syringes. The agency has told me constantly "It is a grey area". It is not a grey area, it is illegal by Calif. State law ! So I am risking my paid off in full home for $ 13.00 per hour and breaking Calif. State Law. Not a good idea !


  4. August 17, 2019 at 9:49 am | Posted by linda

    I am taking care of my 92 year old father he is very diffi cult to be with and I brought someone in to help. he fought it all the way I did this so that Icould go away and see my grandchildren and go away when I wanted as I get no support from my siblings. My dad thinks that there are things happening which aren't he did fall a couple weeks ago and had a slight concussion. I am worried that he will get worse which means he cant stay here. I do not know how to handle this. He has been with me for two years now. he does his adl's and still makes his own breakfast. but the only emotion I get for the most part is anger. I just need to talk to someone about all of this.


  5. July 19, 2019 at 10:00 am | Posted by Ken

    I was currently in a similar situation and I regret now that I reached out to my siblings that expose my mother to exploitation and abuse. Be careful who you ask help from as over 60% of abuse is caused by family members and once a power of attorney is established you are powerless to stop the abuse physical mental or otherwise. It seems the agencies put in place to protect the elderly will not go against a power of attorney and that leaves the victim at a clear disadvantage. It seems I have no choice but to watch the abuse and a torture Behavior until her death meditation seem to help with me and relaxed breathing. I also wished that I would have reached out on some chat lines though it seemed that I Never Had the Time my heart goes out to you good luck


  6. June 16, 2019 at 8:09 pm | Posted by Pam

    Hi I have a husband with dementia. i went from caring for his sister who had dementia and lived with us. within 1 week of her passing i was caring for my husband who ended up in er with severe abdominal pain whch ended up in surgery for removal of 3 feet of small intestines. needless to say i have been caring for him ever since. it is getting worse since he is more forgetful and getting belligerent. he has days so good then ones so bad. He is 87 years old and I am 70. very stressful andhard for me. he is not one to cooperate and do what must be done. every thing is a chore to gethim to do stuff. I am tired and worn out. I love him so much and that is hat keeps me going. I just needed to get this off my chest before I explode. thanks for listening.


    • August 8, 2019 at 2:49 pm | Posted by Ruth

      Pam, your post is almost identical to my situation. I've been dealing with my husband's dementia for 5-6 years now. I'm reluctant to visit chatrooms as I often get depressed when hearing about other cases in which the symptoms are even worse. I am a woman of faith and rely on God to get me through these days. He has been faithful. I know exactly the frustration and stress you're going through.


  7. May 31, 2019 at 6:23 pm | Posted by Stacey

    You need to make time for yourself and when you do she will adapt.


  8. April 28, 2019 at 12:26 am | Posted by Brina lyons

    I am taking care of my boyfriend for 3 years now he had a stroke and I saved his life and I am exhausted I recently found out he was never divorced and now I want to leave because he keep lying to me but I feel guilty and my health is starting to suffer he's keeping things from me now and he has siblings that now since they feel his condition is getting worse everyone wants to be involved band he's shutting me out I think for my health and security I should just leave I've done to much to be treated this way


  9. March 4, 2019 at 1:05 am | Posted by Lori A Flynn

    e Seek medical help Right away and keep seeking help until you get some good results. Stay strong.


    • April 5, 2019 at 1:46 am | Posted by senior living

      If you are living a normal retirement life and feeling bored then go online and make your life graceful. It is a free online dating site offering a different type of dating options such as Asian dating, interracial dating, facebook dating and much more.


  10. February 18, 2019 at 11:42 am | Posted by Sumr

    I have been a caregiver for the past 2 years and love my job extremely well. My spouse was experiencing chest pain a few nights ago, was taken to ER via ambulance 11 PM. When I arrived at ER, called the office I worked for, explained the situation, advised I would not be able to fulfill my shift for the following day. When we got back home at 4 AM, I called my office again to let them know I still needed the day off to take care of him. I was told "suck it up and just work". "We are understaffed and you need to fulfill your obligation, regardless if he is sick!!!!! When we caregivers get together for meetings, we talk amongst ourselves at the lack of care compassion we are given when needed from the office. A good friend suggested a support group for me to join, so here I am.


  11. October 7, 2018 at 8:54 pm | Posted by Larry Don Garcia

    I have cared for my wife as a 24/7 caregiver for over 13 years now. I have reached that point beyond burnout and each day is a repeat of the previous day. recently my hip has limited my mobility and I need hip replacement surgery. The problem is that there are no family members willing to watch her for a day or two while I get surgery. She suffers from anxiety when I am not with her. I am able to go the the grocer but must limit my asawy time to 30 minutes or less. Any thoughts?


  12. September 9, 2018 at 10:28 am | Posted by Derek Stevenson

    How do I keep my mental status from going bonkers while taking care of and watching my mom die Not to mention I'm a recovering addict and I feel like I'm going to relapse at anytime now


    • January 2, 2019 at 12:52 am | Posted by Zach

      I hope someone gives you some great tips. I'll be following here. I'm in the same situation with my fiancee, who's only 37 and was healthy less than a year ago and is now facing 4 years to live (if she's very lucky) per her doctors at Mayo and how they've staged her very rare disease. I've been sober for 3 years 3 months, but not a day goes by that I don't think wistfully of the mood-lifting effects alcohol had, how it dulled my physical pain. (Of course then I remind myself that when I wake up at the end of a drunk, I'll have two problems, not one. Or eight problems..) I feel for you. I hope someone else comes along with more practical suggestions. For me, taking time to write out reasons to stay sober every single night I can't sleep or am awakened by my fiancee with a care issue works; I keep them in a box that reads "Today I Choose Happiness" which I bought at the hospital one of the times she was in ICU. When I'm feeling down or tempted, I take one out and read it. I also recommend SoberTool if you have the ability to get apps. No bells or whistles, but it's full of advice and tools. Downside: huge AA bias. I'm not an AA success, I did it alone and cold turkey (not because that's better but because I'm a lone wolf type). I do find going to online AA/NA meetings opens me to new people and exercises my self-care side. I also have used drugs recreationally for years of my life and became, at different times, dependent, so I feel at home in the NA groups too. I feel most comfortable with online meetings because I have no car and live in a cold place on a very limited income. Some people can cab it to a meeting, but for now that's out of my budget. My fiancee is out of state at Mayos right now, so I'm taking special advantage of the free time to work on recovery. I wish you luck.


  13. September 8, 2018 at 8:34 pm | Posted by Derek Stevenson

    I'm caring for my 73 mom who has stage 4 COPD and is near the end and all day and night she screams out help me but won't yell us what's wrong And on top of that I'm a recovering addict who is afraid of relapse because of the never ending amount of narcotics I'm just a wreck and I don't want my 3 yr to see me fall apart I wish God would take her before I go crazy because I hear her screwing when I sleep and when I'm at work I'm in a hell


  14. August 6, 2018 at 4:55 pm | Posted by Bill

    Need some direction with caring for my 90 year old mom. She has stage 4 cancer and is constantly in the bathroom flushing and changing. No one knows if demsia or the cancer.


  15. July 11, 2018 at 10:05 pm | Posted by Ellen Noland

    My father was killed in Vietnam in 1965 when I was 7. I took care of my bipolar mother until I was 16 and she remarried. I dont use bipolar lightly, she was totally out control when she was manic...she broke the windows out of my high school over a biology grade. Now she is 87, my stepfather died 2 years ago. Im taking care of her with my sister. I live Mo\ my sister lives nearby and is extremely helpful...but im finding myself extremely frustrated that ive been consumed by her feelings for sooo many years. She is no longer bipolar, just depressed beyond belief. I really am frustrated that she mentions dying every 2 minutes. That sounds harsh but I also have my husband, (disabled Vietnam vet with PTSD). I want to run far away, live far away in a tiny house and turn the music up; I know i need to tough it out, but Im so frazzled. thanks for listening.o


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