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Is there a web site where I can chat with other caregivers?

 

Question:  Is there a web site that I can chat back and forth with people who are caregivers? I would find it helpful to discuss my problems with others and they can discuss problems with me.

Dr. Amy:  The beauty of chat rooms is that you can connect with people without leaving your home. Many chat rooms are organized around particular conditions or diseases. For example, the Alzheimer’s Association offers chat rooms for people with Alzheimer’s Disease, and the American Cancer Society provides chat rooms for people with cancer. Many are open to both people with the disease as well as caregivers. I encourage you to visit the websites of the organizations that support the disease or condition of the person you are caring for.

Type, “Chat room” in the search field when you are the main page, and you will be directed to the chat rooms if they have them. You will be asked to register before you join. In addition to chat rooms, many organizations operate message boards—sometimes called forums, which can also be a great source of support. The National Family Caregivers Association (thefamilycaregiver.org) and Caring.com (caring.com) are examples. A number of organizations are planning to create or expand the online support they provide in the coming months. As with everything, you always want to make sure that you are dealing with reputable organizations. You also want to avoid giving out information that identifies you personally. I am interested in readers’ experiences with caregiving chat rooms and forums. I’d like to invite readers to share their experiences using the comment section.

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Thoughts and stories from others
  1. August 22, 2021 at 3:41 am | Posted by Ron catelesse

    Hi Pauline , as a caregiver and always being cut off from mainstream life I understand about the loneliness of caregiving . You could email me if you would like to just have a honest caregiver friend to vent to and discuss the things in. Life our lo is oblivious or to uncaring to talk about

    Reply

  2. August 22, 2021 at 3:35 am | Posted by Ron catelesse

    That is what I had excepted someone to vent with and have meaningful dislouge . And be a daily friend in general who understands .

    Reply

  3. August 11, 2021 at 9:05 pm | Posted by alice High knaub

    I am a carer also and at the moment I too am overwhelmed. There is no point in trying to rationalize the situation. My Husband has classic sundown syndrome and I dread after dinner at night. He wants to eat constantly and tries to raid the refrigerator and freezer a few minutes after he leaves the table. He owns the house!, he is in charge!, he thinks I am someone who takes care of him daily and when he is angry, he tells me to get the hell out and get back to my own place. My heart breaks and I am hurt and angry with his comments. Intellectually, of course I get that it is the vile disease that causes this. However, it is much too difficult to maintain and be calm and understand. We are fragile human beings and have needs that will never be met. My job is 24 hours a day... We did have a good life, he was a lovely man, retired veteran from the Air Force and a war hero. We used to travel a lot and I am so glad we did that. However, I must be brutally honest, he is not that same man and sometimes I dislike this person he has become. The VA is no help, according to them we make more money monthly than they accept.... He flew 29 bombing missions over N. Korea on a B-29,. many missions into Viet Nam and accumulated 16 thousand flying hours in his military career. One should have nothing to do with the other. This country is one of the worst for taking care of the elderly...Tonight has been a tough one, thank you for allowing me to ventilate....

    Reply

  4. August 11, 2021 at 11:19 am | Posted by Rick H

    I, quite often, ask if there is any place I can go to speak with others who are in the same position that I am. Until now, it seemed that all the posts were so old I wasn't sure if they were still on, or if they had passed on. I'm still not in the same position. I'm a son who has given up my life, my work and my future, to care for my mother.

    Reply

  5. July 19, 2021 at 7:07 am | Posted by Richard H.

    Thank you all, so very much for sharing. I'm 54 and sole caregiver for my 82 year old mother. I was feeling very sorry for myself because in the last 10 years, my brother has taken my mother to watch for exactly one 24 hour period to give me a day off. That was 6 months ago and afterwards he informed me that he just can't do it again, It was just too much for he and his wife to manage. The sunshine you've brought to my life is that she is very sweet and easy to get along with, and tells me every day how much she loves me..She doesn't remember my name, or that I'm her son. She can't tell me if she's hungry, tired, or in pain. I have learned to read her body language. And every day I try to remember to thank God that he gave me exactly what I asked him to...to take care of my mother for the rest of her life.

    Reply

  6. June 30, 2021 at 9:30 am | Posted by Rich

    Hi Lynne, To look for services in your area, you can go to www.homeinstead.com and enter your location information. Someone will be in touch shortly after. All the best, Home Instead

    Reply

  7. May 7, 2021 at 6:50 pm | Posted by colleen m medeiros

    this is very new for me i was hoping to find a chat room to get some help. i am responsible for my brothers care. he is a dementia patient.

    Reply

  8. March 21, 2021 at 9:22 pm | Posted by Don

    If he wants to eat like a king.he can take you to the local dinner and you both can enjoy it . The inky guestionbyou beed to ask him is what would happen if I wasn't around... Stop beating on yourself

    Reply

  9. November 5, 2020 at 10:00 am | Posted by Pauline

    I get so lonely and very down

    Reply

  10. August 23, 2020 at 7:05 pm | Posted by Patricia Cook

    I am a 73 year old woman who takes care of her 81 year old husband. He gets very frustrated and angry when he can't do things. He takes it out on me. This is very stressful for me. I am his scapegoat. This happens almost everyday. I feel lonely and need to chat with people who are going through basically the same thing. I do love him but sometimes I feel so hurt and angry.

    Reply

    • December 18, 2020 at 11:35 pm | Posted by Margaret Wright

      I am 80 and the caregiver of my husband who is 84. we have been married for 60 years! I am nearly blind and have had to take over all the finances! I am not well, and have just had a partial mastectomy. I will now have to go thru radiation but it will be only 5 treatments! Thankl God they cought it in time! This is my 3rd bought w/ Cancer! My husband is now in a wheelchair! There is no pleasing him! he blames me for everything! He is now losing his sight to macular degeneration! I have 3rd Nerve palsy and my field of vision is limited! My spouse blames me for every thing that goes wrong! Besides his failing sight he is hard of hearing! I have to yell to get his attention Neither of us can drive any longer! UI ghave a house keeper that comes in 2 times a week! I do the cooking! he is very demanding! If I do not fix exaxtly what he wants he complains! Since my surgery 101 days ago I have been in pain! One of the problems that I have been experiencing is that I now have vertigo(dizzsiness! I was going to balance therapy! however since my Breast Surgery I have had to stop that due to the paing with the Harness! He gets me up at 6 AM wanting Breakfast. He wants the full works! i,e, Eggs Benedict, or Ham & Eggs, Lox Cream Chees & Bagels ! os Poached Salmon & Eggs along with Fresh Fruit of a Protien Shake! Since I have been quite sore, I try to nap! He wants a full lunch around noon! Sandwich is not enough! He wants things like Chicken Fried Steak or Baked Chicken & Dressing! The same for Dinner! He does not like frozen Entrees, and wants every thing freshly prepared!

      Reply

      • March 21, 2021 at 9:05 pm | Posted by Don

        If he wants to eat like a king.he can take you to the local dinner and you both can enjoy it . The inky guestionbyou beed to ask him is what would happen if I wasn't around... Stop beating on yourself

        Reply

      • July 6, 2021 at 7:40 am | Posted by Dolly Welsh

        In reading your message my heart goes out to you...You are facing far worse than I am..My husbnd is 92 and I am a full time care giver. I also have everything else to take care of, home, grocery's, laundry, etc. There is never any ME TIME...,I have a very bad back, need knee replacement and have had two hip replacements. My beautiful daughter was diagnosed with breast cancer and I want to be there for her when I can. On top of it all have a very old dog I am caring for which has lots of accidents, and no, I am not ready to put her down yet...It seems like I am always angry, and don't like myself very much...My husband has three grown children which could help me out some but to much trouble, so give me nothing...My husband was a veteran so have a lady who comes three days a week for 4 hours a day, and helps with showering etc...He has fallen a number of times... I have gained a lot of respect for people what take this upon themselves like you...God bless.....

        Reply

    • August 10, 2021 at 10:53 am | Posted by Peggy

      I am 60 and consider myself care giver to my 79 year old husband. The past 6 months have been terrible. 3 calls to 911 - 3 hospitalizations; his behavior is terrible; he cusses at the tv, he screams and yells at me, threatens to hit me, threatens to divorce me, and the next day he is sweet and kind and appreciative. I have few friends and family live in other states. This is very strenuous and causes me much stress. He had fired two home health care agencies and sitters. I handle everything.

      Reply

      • August 22, 2021 at 3:45 am | Posted by Ron catelesse

        So sry , I know how hard caring for someone is . It's been 10 long yrs with the most unappreciative person on the planet and now I have to leave and do not know how to .

        Reply

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