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Sharing is Caring:

The Emotions of Caregiving

Family members share their stories about how they became caregivers for their loved ones, and the stresses it can put on their lives, families, emotions, and physical well-being. The challenges faced by these family caregivers can bring a sense of loss and depression, but they are able take comfort in the sense of support and contentment that Home Instead CAREGiversSM bring to their lives

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Thoughts and stories from others
  1. February 8, 2015 at 2:32 pm | Posted by Kathy

    I have been there for my father and mother my whole life! There are 6 children 5 of whom do not have any contact with our parents for about 35 years. It was my parents choice . Now me being the youngest of 6 just came to the realization a few years ago as I sat in the lawyers office with my mother for a power of attorney contract - she tells the lawyer we kept this one (child) me to look after us when we got older!!! She has not been diagnosed with any disabilities but has always been a narcissist and has never said she loves me.. I on the other hand do not understand how I got manipulated into looking after them. My father passed away 10 years ago and now she is 85 still driving and doing nothing productive at all, sits around and feels sorry for herself and has no concern about my life at all does not care about anyone but herself . This is as she lives in our home and convinced us she couldn't do it on her own. Three years of this and I'm done. I have had her tested by homecare and they say there is nothing wrong with her she is totally fine. She puts on such a show when they are here and now has kicked them out of the house. She was suppose to go to a bigger city for a phycological assessment and she blew up on them and never went. Her Dr. is no help either. I have done a lot of research over the years and it seems no one can see her mental problems ??? My husband and I are at our wits end. We are not nasty people at all and its so hard to keep being nice to someone so ungrateful and angry that she is still alive. Any constructive help would be greatly appreciated Thank you

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  2. June 10, 2014 at 9:48 am | Posted by MARIE ANDERS

    informative, heart warming story, contemplative

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  3. March 15, 2014 at 10:18 am | Posted by Doris Helene

    This is to the producer of this video.. thank you for the excellent info, BUT, PLEASE, could you eliminate that horribly morbid music from the background? It sounds like a death walk to the grave. I cannot imagine ANY beneficial reason for it! (Unless it is geared to making the caregiver more depressed and less able to cope so that they will seek more of your services?)

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  4. February 20, 2014 at 8:56 am | Posted by lauren purcell

    Very beautiful insights thank you! Our healing presence in one another is a beautiful thing .Sending you well wishes today . And sending you light and love today . Thank you for your kind words . Lauren Purcell

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  5. August 9, 2013 at 10:32 am | Posted by Rosalie French

    I've never heard from a spouse as to how they handle the loss of love and affection from their loved one...and,yes, sex...my husband and I were always a very "cuddley" couple not to mention the intimate moments that we shared...now that is all gone for him but for me not so much....

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  6. August 8, 2013 at 7:49 pm | Posted by Norma Sherwood

    Hello Family Caregivers Anne Young- FamilyCaregiver Rita McKay- Family Caregiver Julie Donaldson- Home Instead Franchaise Owner I have listened to all of your stories, and your stories are all very demanding looking after your loved one, but you all have done a wonderful job, caring. You all are very strong. Take care. Norma Norma Sherwood- Caregiver-Home Instead- Scarborough

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  7. August 8, 2013 at 2:26 pm | Posted by James L Fabian

    THE LIFE OF A CAREGIVER . What a care giver does is cope and adapt continuously on a daily basis and I may add, adjusts. There is a deep inward feeling at times of the ugliness of the situation, and that our life is some what broken from what it was in the past. However, the truth of the matter is that one must accept the new ugliness and broken part of life as well as the slow decaying aspect also. If you do not, and continue to resist, the prognoses is not very encouraging. One must be willing to not only look but to gaze and go deep inside. Once that is accomplished, more compassion for the individual patient is realized which then turns into a deeper love for the individual you are caring for. Some may say that the care giver lives in a very small world. That is in some respects true. But that world is crowded and full of past memories of things that once were and of things that could have been. That in it self brings a glimmer of hope and brightness sometimes missing from the true world. The caregiver’s world still offers beauty; refuge and yes at times delight. The caregiver’s world is small, mysterious, and somewhat less human than the outside world, but never the less, we are still part of the great mystery and part of the whole. There will be many changes for the caregiver that go something like this; You will venture into a place one had preferred to avoid, and in the journey encounter the monsters of revulsion, avoidance, despair, anger, frustration, just to name a few. Let them not destroy you. Abide with them in a reality too big to change, and one you cannot ignore. One can only hope as eventually happens to every monster in myth and fairy tale, they will be transformed into something beautiful and rewarding. Who, then, is the healer in these encounters and who is the wounded one? We need to realize that as we reach out to the other who is dying, as we help that other person to move into depth, we are simultaneously reaching out to the one who is mortally wounded and suffering in the depths of our own being. At that moment we are not there as altruistic heroes helping the victim other. We and the other are both there as wounded ones, each searching for healing, and in this reaching out and reaching in we become wounded healers to self as we are wounded healers to other. Until we recognize this inner dynamic for ourselves, we will either mistakenly continue to believe that we as caregivers always have the answers to the other people’s problems, or, as patients, continue searching in never-ending circles for that someone or something ”out there” who will at last take all our pain away. The tragedy in this is that we may never pause long enough to realize that the way to the healing we desire is, in fact, seeking us out, and always as close to us as we are to ourselves. (Mortally Wounded by Michael Kearney)

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  8. August 8, 2013 at 1:22 pm | Posted by Mary

    I have been taking care of my husband for five years due to having several strokes and believe me, it does take a toll on your mind and body after awhile. With the help of a nurse that stays with him during the day so I can work I could not have done this by myself. We have no children or family around to help even to give me a break sometime. So many has told me to put him in a nursing home but I will not do that to him until there is no other way out. I will be there until the end.

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    • July 11, 2014 at 6:00 pm | Posted by andre mendy

      Hi, I do not know you but your words go straight to my heart. That is the life we must share in the worst as in misfortune. I would love to help you to be with him but I'm away from you. I'm Senegal (Africa)

      Reply

  9. August 8, 2013 at 11:44 am | Posted by Cindy

    Boy that video hit home. My mom has alzheimers and has been fighting the disease for 10 years. She was diagnosised at 65 years of age. Recently she has had a sharp decline. Words no longer understandable, over the top anxiety. She is either asleep or anxious. So very sad. I have been dealing with this for 10 years already but each time she takes a sharp decline it hits me all over again. No matter how much you think you are prepared it is very tough.

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  10. August 1, 2013 at 1:53 am | Posted by connie sniff

    My husband refuses to go to dialysis treatments-

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  11. July 25, 2013 at 1:08 pm | Posted by Debbie p

    Being a caregiver to my dad is rewarding, but has its moments of frustration,I work full time and then take care of my dad, and my own family, my daughter takes care of my dad while I work and then she covers my class when I go home in the afternoon.( I am an infant / toddler teacher. I would like to know how I can get someone to watch him for a week, so I can go out of town without worrying if he's being cared for properly.it definitely changes my whole social life.my husband resents the time I spend with my dad,since he also lives with us it's being on call 24/7.

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  12. June 21, 2013 at 8:42 pm | Posted by tina

    I have been doing caregiving about 24 years. It hasn't always been great but what carrier is? I wouldn't change it for the world. My people are who keep me going at times and it is the toughest carrier I believe and the most unrecognized and underpaid. If it wasn't for my clients I might not of stuck with being a caregiver. I still think that regardless of doing medical care or nonmedical a starting pay should at least be above $14.00 an hour.

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