Get Mom Moving
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December 22, 2010
As adults, you and your siblings might not feel you have much to talk about anymore. But whether you're still close or if you've grown apart, you still have at least one common bond. That's the planning for care of your elderly mom and dad.
No matter what your family relationships are like, an aging care plan represents unchartered waters for most families. Who takes care of Mom and Dad, and where? Do you seek outside support or try to do it all yourselves? What do you do when you can't agree or when someone feels left out? Who takes charge when your parent is ill or even dying?
The 50-50 Rule℠ program offers strategies for overcoming sibling differences to help families provide the best care for elderly parents.
The 50-50 Rule refers to the average age (50) when siblings are caring for their parents as well as the need for brothers and sisters to share in the plans for care 50-50. Research conducted for the Home Instead Senior Care® network reveals that an inability to work together often leads to one sibling becoming responsible for the bulk of caregiving in 43 percent of U.S. families and 41 percent of Canadian families. And that can result in the deterioration of relationships with brothers and sisters.
At the core of the 50-50 Rule public education program is a family relationship and communication guide of real-life situations that features practical advice from the Home Instead Senior Care network and sibling relationships expert, Ingrid Connidis, Ph.D., of the University of Western Ontario.
"Like all relationships, siblings have a history," Connidis noted. "Whatever happened in the past influences what happens in the present. Regardless of their circumstances, most siblings do feel a responsibility to care for parents that is built from love. And that's a good place to start—optimistically and assuming the best."
Research suggests that siblings don't want to harm their relationships with each other. That's why the 50-50 Rule program will help facilitate communication in relationships with brothers and sisters who want to make the most of their parents' senior years and their own caregiving journey.
Please download the guide: 50/50 Rule SM Brochure (PDF 950K).
Review these topics to learn more about how to work better with your brothers and sisters.
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February 17, 2011 at 4:35 pm | Posted by DTK
You address the 50/50 rule, but what happens when one sibling takes total control, and the sibling who is willing to help is demoted to the receiver of information. The one who is nudged out appears to be a "do nothing", and the one who takes control looks like the white knight. The one who is willing and able to help backs off and looks like a schlep to the outside world. Things are not always black and white.
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