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Download the The 50-50 Rule® Brochure

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The 50/50 guide is designed to help adult siblings and their aging parents deal with those sensitive situations that arise among brothers and sisters as their parents age and need assistance.

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February 3, 2011

Helping Siblings Overcome Family Conflict While Caring for Aging Parents

This guide is designed to help adult siblings and their aging parents deal with those sensitive situations that arise among brothers and sisters as their parents age and need assistance. The downloadable guide covers a variety of sibling caregiving topics such as: How do you divide workload with your sister? What's the best way to build teamwork with your brothers? How can you reach agreement as a family on important topics to avoid family conflict?

Download the guide: The 50-50 Rule® brochure (PDF format—950KB)

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Thoughts and stories from others
  1. February 3, 2014 at 2:33 am | Posted by gloria

    My sister took all our Mom's money then kicked her out of the home she saved from fore closer. I had to have someone ride with Mom across the us to my home because Mom though. she could do it alone after a stroke. My sister has somehow turned my Mom's sister against me and has spread lies about what has really happened throughout my Moms side of the family. While I have the entire burden of her care and monetary support of Mom and to top it off my sister is still Mom's favorite.

    Reply

  2. November 11, 2013 at 4:46 pm | Posted by Carol

    Jackie, You hit the nail on the head. My mother has five children but it seems only one (me) has a mother. One of my sisters actually said to me, "Thanks Carol, for taking care of Mom so I don't have to." What in the world is with siblings who don't understand that it IS their job - everyone's job - to take care of the parents? They don't get to choose whether or not to be on the team. They only get to choose whether or not to be a good teammate. Never in a million years, not in my wildest dreams would I have expected my four sisters to stand back and let me do it all. They have NO idea - they will NEVER understand - everything I am doing for OUR mother. And then they get upset because I "resent" their decision. Well, if were on an athletic team and you left me standing on the field by myself, or if we were a team working on a project at a business and you left me to do the entire project, everyone would understand why I resent my teammates. And we were raised by phenomenal, great, giving, caring, compassionate parents! I cannot imagine what kind of thinking and rationalization is going on my selfish sisters' minds.

    Reply

  3. November 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm | Posted by Brigitte Zanini

    Ditto. As I understand it, there are 3 reasons why siblings do not support - money, time and distance. How sad for our parents.

    Reply

  4. November 1, 2011 at 3:57 pm | Posted by Bernice Wilson O'Roark

    As someone who spent her professional life in home care and hospice for seniors, I am now retired (age 74) and often serve as family friend/respite caregiver. I try to bridge the communication gap between elder (whom I understand better as I age), middle-age children and health system. I very highly recommend the book "How to Say It to Seniors", as kids often get it wrong and this causes a lot of trouble. Also, for my caregiver friends I recommend "My Mother, Your Mother" to show how health care needs to change and how we can cope until it does. Keep helping!

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  5. April 10, 2011 at 2:51 pm | Posted by jackie printzenhoff

    how do you get your other siblings to understand its not just your job. We built an apartment on the back of our home for my mother. I only get glad your doing it sis i couldn't. its been going on for 12 years.

    Reply

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