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Difficult Topics with Aging Parents (Senior Communication Issues - Part 3 of 5)

In this video "Difficult Topics with Aging Parents," Mary Alexander from Home Instead Senior Care discusses topics that can be difficult to address with your aging loved ones -- such as moving from their home, finances, driving and health issues. In this video, we will give you possible scenarios about each of these issues from both your and your parents' perspectives.

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Thoughts and stories from others
  1. September 16, 2010 at 2:25 pm | Posted by Raye T.

    I was a distanced caregiver for my mother (who was epileptic) during her renal illness, as she was hard-pressed to relinquish her independence, even to the point of living alone after sharing a house with her sister for 33 years. She refused to move in with me when she retired, requiring that I provided companionship, run errands, and prepare meals as an "outsourced" caregiver, until her passing in Jan. 2000. In fact, she had to be forced into retirement by her employer. When I suggested retirement to her the previous year, she wouldn't hear of it. It hadn't occurred to me that my mother, who was only 68 at the time of her passing, didn't really have anything to retire TO. Unfortunately, she had made her job – which was that of Nurse's Aide in a nursing home – her only activity for 38 years. So, I got my own work hours changed to flextime at 12 hours a day, 3 days a week, to be more available to her, if and when she needed. Right at the onset of her retirement, she suffered not only the debilitating illness of renal failure, but the inability to maintain her independence. Momma was very stubborn and refused to accept that she needed help. She was lucid and our communication often suffered greatly because we didn't always know how to understand each other. Sadly, Momma only experienced three months of retirement before she died. I am 58, and my adult daughter is in no way ready to accept that I will become incapable of functioning or caring for myself. I am still more her caregiver than she is mine. I admit, however, that I have been concerned that she would be so unwilling to accept that I need her help that she would not know how to help me if and when the time comes. In the meantime, I work hard at staying astute and mobile, and I want to help others do the same.

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