Since moving into Linda's home 3 years ago her mom's negativity is starting to effect her marriage. Linda left her job and cares for her mom full-time but she struggles with her constant complaining. How can she get her mom to show a little more appreciation?
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Mary Maxwell, Posted July 03, 2013
Linda from Richmond, Virginia writes "Mary, I’m at my wit’s end. I hate my mother. Don’t get me wrong, I love her dearly, but some days, I can’t help but think she is ruining our lives. My husband and I brought her to live with us three years ago when she began to need more help. I left my job as a teacher to care for her full time. She constantly complains that I don’t do things the correct way – her eggs are overdone, her bath water is too cold, I don’t take the fastest way to the hair salon. Nothing is ever good enough for her. It is now starting to affect my relationship with my husband. He doesn’t understand why I don’t stand up to her. To top it all off, she has never once thanked me for what I do. How can I get her to stop badgering me and start showing a little appreciation?”
Well, Linda, I’d really like to know whether this is something recent with your mother or has she always been an ungrateful witch? My first reaction was that you should start complaining to your mother every time she complains to you. You could complain about how much you miss teaching, how long it’s been since you had time to get your hair done, and how your friend Sharon put her mother in a home and now has time for a life again. You could do this, but that would be petty. Fun….but petty. I do think it would be okay if you replied to every complaint with a smile and said…. Mom, you know you’re lucky to have me. Now stop fussing or your next bath will be arctic. If mom can’t get a rise out of you, which seems to have become an indoor sport for her, the game will not be fun anymore. Good luck, Linda.
Watch the video, http://www.caregiverstress.com/2013/05/more-appreciation-from-mom/
Visit CaregiverStress.com to discover more wit and wisdom from Mary Maxwell, as well as expert advice from Dr. Amy D'Aprix and other videos, articles, and resources for family caregivers.
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