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Mom's Dating After Being Widowed

 

Sandy is asking if it is appropriate for her mother, who was widowed after 50 years of marriage, to start dating?



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Mom's Dating After 50 years of Marriage

Mary Maxwell, Posted March 13, 2013

Sandy from Charlotte asks, “I have a question that I hope you can answer. My father passed away three years ago at the age of 72. He and mother had just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary a few months before. They were always the perfect couple; a couple everyone admired. That is why I can’t understand how my mother can be dating. For the last few months she’s been spending a lot of time with a gentleman from church. They see movies together, go to dinner, and now he wants her to go on a weekend trip. How can I make her see this is inappropriate?”

Sandy, dear, cool it. Your mother is not being inappropriate. 3 years is more than enough for a mourning period….especially at our age.
One of the best proofs that a long marriage was a good one is that the surviving partner is not afraid of another relationship. Now, to be honest, I’m hoping that my husband won’t actually bring a date to my wake, but I certainly don’t want him to spend the rest of his life sitting in his recliner watching fox news and thumbing through our wedding album. In fact, I’m thinking of making a list of some possible future companions for him. I will also point out the person who, if he takes her to dinner, will make it necessary for me to come back to haunt him.

Watch the video, http://www.caregiverstress.com/2013/03/moms-dating-after-being-widowed/

Visit CaregiverStress.com to discover more wit and wisdom from Mary Maxwell, as well as expert advice from Dr. Amy D'Aprix and other videos, articles, and resources for family caregivers.

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Thoughts and stories from others
  1. November 17, 2013 at 11:48 am | Posted by Bert Lawrence

    How can I get a copy of Mary's prayer? I am deaf so communications must be in writing. Thank you.

    Reply

  2. April 1, 2013 at 12:47 pm | Posted by Dinah Reed

    I am not sure how to answer that except some people need others in their lives to keep them going and others wish to never marry again or have someone else in their lives. I have seen people in care homes get together with a mate not to long after their spouse has passed and it seemed like a good idea because they felt like they had someone to live for and the family just needs to except that. If the sparkle has gone out of their eyes and someone comes along to put it back in I find that refreshing. I know my Mom never wanted anyone else but she still went out dancing and enjoying herself and that was great. Hope this helps as there is no regular time anymore and if she feels like living then bravo for her. If she gets hurt back her up.

    Reply

  3. March 21, 2013 at 2:33 pm | Posted by Margaret Curlee

    Mary: I find your perspective on the that affect old age hilarious! And laughter is better than depression any old time. Would you give some advice on what to say to a "child" who wants a senior to move from his/her home, and the senior is able to safely and without problems in his/her home without assistance. Keep those videos coming, Mary! Margaret Curlee

    Reply

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