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Sharing the Secret Recipe

 

Maria is reluctant to give her daughter-in-law the family's secret recipe. Mary serves up her thoughts on this family situation.

Download a transcript of this Mary Maxwell video (PDF)

Good nutrition is the first line of defense for older adults who are striving to maintain their independence as they age. Visit Cooking Under Pressure for nutrition resources for healthy aging.

Sharing the Secret Recipe

-Mary Maxwell, Posted September 4,2012

Maria in Madison writes, "My daughter-in-law keeps asking me to give her the recipe for marinara sauce that has been passed down for three generations. Trouble is, I don't trust her with it and she isn't a blood relative. It's obvious to everyone that we simply don't get along and I think she is only doing this to push my buttons. Of course, my less-than-ideal relationship with my son's wife saddens him. What should I do to get her to back off without hurting my son's feelings?"

Oh Maria, where to start? You really don't like this daughter-in-law, do you? And apparently, you have made it abundantly clear how you feel to the whole family. Nice. I wonder how her family feels about your son. Doesn't it occur to you that she is trying to compliment you by asking for the recipe? And when you say you don't trust her, what do you think she plans to do with it? Auction it on eBay? Sell it to Emeril? You can't be serious about valuing your marinara sauce recipe over your son's feelings. And you know what? I've tasted your marinara sauce. I don't know why you're making such a fuss about it.

Watch the video, www.caregiverstress.com/2012/09/sharing-the-secret-recipe/

Visit CaregiverStress.com to discover more wit and wisdom from Mary Maxwell, as well as expert advice from Dr. Amy D'Aprix and other videos, articles, and resources for family caregivers.

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Thoughts and stories from others
  1. September 18, 2012 at 11:03 am | Posted by Krystal Burgess

    Mary is brilliant! And Honest! I have the same type of Mother-n-Law. It is not over Marinara Sauce, but in the little things she says and does that makes it clear to all those around her that she feels she must compete with me for her son's attention. If she only would learn, she would gain the attention and love she desires/craves of she would only embrace her daughter-n-law and let go of her son!

    Reply

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