Helen from Santa Fe asks Mary for guidance on entering into a new relationship later in life. Mary offers some fun, lighthearted advice to inspire Helen to go for it!
Most of the time, adult kids are pleased when a widowed parent gets a new romantic partner. But they DO want to know what's going on. So let them know. Read Senior Romance and Dating: Relationships after Losing a Spouse for some ways to gently ease the kids into the idea.
-Mary Maxwell, Posted November 11, 2011
Helen from Santa Fe asks, "Dear Mary, I was married for more than 50 years to a wonderful man and have been widowed for nearly 13 years. I never thought I would consider a new relationship, but recently a gentleman at church and I have developed a lovely friendship. I think he is looking for more than a friend, and I am not totally against it. Do you have any advice for a new relationship?"
Well that's a great question. I've been doing the math and at your age, Helen Rule #1 is: long sleeves. Remember: our arms are the enemy. Don't let warm weather convince you that sleeveless shirts and dresses are attractive on a person north of 70. Try to avoid bright lights, and whatever you do, don't sit with the sun facing you. If possible, try to remember to call your new friend by his real name. Don't call him "Eugene," that's your chiropractor's name. And don't call him "Harry," that's your dentist's first name. And finally Helen, go for it! It's something of a miracle to find someone who keeps you from being alone. Except, of course, when you are in
the bathroom. That's rule #2.
Visit CaregiverStress.com to discover more wit and wisdom from Mary Maxwell, as well as expert advice from Dr. Amy D'Aprix and other videos, articles, and resources for family caregivers.
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